Dear Shabi’s

16th June – Sir Fallalot memorial ride

To commemorate the sad passing of our dear fellow SHABI rider Sir Fallalot on 18th June 2019 whilst riding with us on a Tuesday night, we set off to pay our respects by riding the route again.

The peleton consisted of six riders including; Chuff (RM) and Smashie (DRM) along with fellow riders: Daisy, C2C7, Captain Frackbladder, Love Bus Driver, Faff Cheeks, Slumpy, his carer Tonka, Slasher, Big Ring, Genghis and Dobbie.

I am happy to report that Chuff is beginning to mature into an excellent RM and instead of blasting off into the distance leaving in his wake a group of lost and bewildered SHABI’s, he is now responsibly keeping the pace “just right” and clearly indicating when he is about to go left when he means right and visa versa.

So with conditions “just right” we pedal off into the wilderness that is Liphook and Haslemere taking in the dappled sunlight, balmy temperatures and beautiful views. Sadly the absence of regular riding has left some riders nursing “defective” bikes with Slumpy’s bottom bracket make a sort of “squeak – crunch – squeak – crunch” noise (Matching Genghis's pedal noise) and Daisy on his “spare” bike having wrecked the Bird’s chain …again! Daisy’s “spare” bike has a nickname of the “Flying mattress” and indeed it lives up to this reputation.

So we head off through the woods and around and about with everyone chatting away – like we do. Over Marley Heights and down the descent of doom which seemed a bit tame, but maybe that’s due to the leaf mould and stuff in the gullies. Then up the other side on Blackdown.

We finally emerge on the ridge and beautiful vista opens up with views to the Southdowns and everywhere in between. Many riders have not been out recently so stop to take photos.

We then stand to attention to remember Sir Fallalot.

Then off again and a dusty decent to the road as we head for home. We arrive at the bottom of the hill where Sir Fallalot fell and walk the final yards to his memorial which is nicely attached to a tree.

We reflect on the days events a year ago and its was interesting to observe how time has changed our perceptions of what happened.

Many riders present did not know Sir Fallalot or were not there on the night. We thank them for their respectful forbearance for those of us immersed in his memory.

Then a lovely bimble back to the dodgy car-park in Liphook.

Then we decided to put the “i” into idiot and decided to have “Pizza on the green”. Smashie and LBD head for the Pizza Parlour in the van to collect the pre-ordered food. Needless to say someone had given us two manky fivers to pay for a Pizza costing £12.50 and LBD had to offer to pleasure an old person to make up for the missing £2.50.

Then into the van and off to the green where the six SHABI’s were in a large circle tucking into some chilled beer brough along by Slasher. Extra point for Slasher – no question. Distribution of the Pizza’s was handled by the two, now very senior, Law Enforcement Operatives and everyone tucked in ..except Daisy. Daisy had a full-on picnic dining experience going on with; butler, table cloth, chandelier, finest silver cutlery and cut-glass decanter etc. By the time everyone else had got half way through, our Dais had only just managed to get his butler to tuck the napkin into his collar.

In the middle of this meal a lovely chap came along and asked if we had any drugs to sell. Sadly he wasn’t interested in the usual performance enhancing drugs we had in stock so he bumbled off. Our two Law Enforcement Operatives gave a him a look that said “ ..if only we had the Tazers with us we could have Tazered him in the genitals ..” Luckily escape for the chap me thinks.

Anyway after much munching of pizza, slurping of beer we were done and then another surprise. Mrs LBD had prepared six individually sealed “first aid kits” for every rider to carry with them out riding. Superb effort and the SHABI’s thank Mrs LBD and award her the first ever “SHABI medal of honour”.

PS - Please repay her excellent effort by looking at the website videos – yes all of them. https://www.shabi.online/first-aid

Bear in mind Mrs LBD is an A&E nurse at St Richards – just imagine you have turned up in A&E and she finds you have not seen the SHABI first aid video nor were carrying her carefully prepared first aid kit? I think its fair to say your chances of making a full recovery would be slim.

BINKY BYKEKNUT – A Cycling legend answers your questions

In this feature, Binky will fearlessly tackle any personal or technical issues you might have (these can be submitted via the SHABI Whatsapp group)

Dear Binky,

I belong to a club which is organising our regular rides in contravention of Government guidelines for a maximum of six riders.

Should I shop them to the Rozzers?

Yours Mr Trellis of Little Snoring by Sea

Dear Mr Trellis,

I think you are confused.

The Government has not issued a full definition of the number “6” in so much that they have failed to set out which “Number Base” it is using (ie Ternary, Octal or Denary etc.) It could mean anything.

Franky – just use your common sense.

Hope this helps

Binky

PS My esteemed colleague Faff Cheeks will be writing a short dissertation on how the number six could mean anything. To be published soon ie 2025.

Scores on the doors

I love you all

Smashie X